Roots

As promised, this blog is going to be sporadic at best…so here’s the first post I’ve made in almost 6 weeks.

So I’ve been doing some genealogical research recently. It’s something I’ve tried to do on and off for about 7 years. I started earnestly researching around last Christmas. I’m not sure why…I guess I felt like I needed a new research project after writing my thesis. Thanks to Ancestry.com, I’ve really been able to find a lot of information going back on some branches of the tree all the way to Jamestown in the 1620s. I’m most interested, however, in tracking the Adams part of the tree. Here is where I’ve run into some puzzling dead-ends. I think I’ve been able to track it back to my great-great-great-great grandfather.

I wonder who these people were? What they looked like? Census records state what the adults’ professions were: farmers, carpenters (one was a coffin maker), teamsters (as in stagecoach driver). All salt of the earth kinda people. All could read, which is somewhat of a pleasant surprise considering how low literacy rates were in rural areas of Tennessee in the 1800s. Most of the men died young. Even my grandfather died at age 47.

I’ve also uncovered some fairly sad things. My great grandfather registered for the WWI draft one week before my grandfather was born. That’s the last record I have for him. He didn’t die in the war, but what happened? The next record for my grandfather is that he lived with his great-grandparents at the same address where the Germantown Café stands now. His mother lived across town with another fella and later moved to Cincinnati while he stayed in Nashville.

None of this information defines me as a person, of course. But it is a part of who I am, isn’t it? To borrow a lyric from Ben Folds, if my great-great-great-great granddad made someone’s great-great-great-great grandaddy’s slaves, it wasn’t my idea. (Some family history seems to indicate that maybe they were slaveowners, but I seriously doubt it…they were probably too poor.) That said, I’m proud of my heritage. If I have Confederates in the attic, I’ll be proud of their service…misguided as it may have been. Just like I am proud of my ancestors who stepped on a rickety wooden boat and traveled 30-40 days across the Atlantic to face hostile Native Americans, indentured servitude, starvation, and disease to make a better life here. The least I can do is to try to find out who they were and try to preserve that information for my daughter.

What impact am I making? What mark am I making today that may or may not be studied by my great-great-great-great grandkids? Will I just be a number in a census ledger, or will they be amazed at the mundane facts of my everyday life, like I’m amazed at the mundane facts of my ancestors?

What about you?

Perdido: the finale

It's always a bummer when a trip wraps up. Packing up, cleaning up, loading up...it stinks. But, we do have the memories of a truly great vacation. It was relaxing, and most importantly it was a lot of fun to see Ellie thrive in a new environment.

I cashed in my Father's Day gift and went deep-sea fishing. I was only going for 4 hours, but when I got there they said they cancelled the 4 hour that morning and only offered the 6 hour tour. But they gave it to me at the 4 hour price since no one called to let me know. It was rough out there, choppy waves (4-6 ft). Kids on either side of me lost their breakfast overboard. Fun. Luckily, I took Dramamine, so I was in good shape. I caught 4 fish total. One was a big 10 pounder. I think I've got about 7 pounds of meat off of that one. Very fun trip and a great Father's Day gift.

We're wrapping up now and I need to get my rest for the return trip back. Let's hope it's a smooth ride back. By the way, Ellie told the beach and ocean "Bye-bye" this evening. It was cute and sad.

Perdido, Day 3

Another relaxing day at the beach. That's been a good trend on this trip: taking it easy. We went to the Gulf Coast Zoo this morning, which was much better than I expected...and pretty cheap too. Ellie really enjoyed it. She got to see a bear, some tigers, and got to feed a donkey and some goats. She liked feeding the animals, but didn't like them touching her. It was also fun to see her hear the animal noises that we've been working on for the last year or so.

After that it was back to the condo for nap (both Ellie and me). That heat was nearly unbearable today. 100 degrees easy. The scorching sun made me reevaluate my plans for taking a 6 hour fishing trip tomorrow. That would put me out there in the ocean, with no shade or quarter, during the roughest part of the day's sun. I decided just to do a 4 hour tour which puts me back onshore at 12:00. I'm really looking forward to it: it's my Father's Day gift. I'll be happy with a few pounds of snapper or even some triggerfish.

After supper we went back out to the beach. A spot shower cooled things off some. Late afternoon really is the best time to be out there. You've got the place to yourself and it's cooler. Ellie made a sand castle and made a friend who is also staying at the condo too. I'm so happy that she likes to get out in the ocean. Of course she doesn't know about all the creepy things that live in it...and once she comes to that realization she may change in the future...but right now she could care less.

Off to bed, gotta be up early to catch the boat. Good times.

Perdido: Day 2

As the old saying goes, even a bad day on vacation is better than a good day at work. Today was definitely not a bad day, though. Went down to the beach around 10:00 or so; this time we were ready for Ellie to go a little deeper into the ocean. Theresa doesn't like getting into the ocean: too many critters for her. I, on the other hand, find that the best part of the beach. Ellie did really well out there. Of course I hung onto her the whole time (and she held onto me) and she had a lifejacket on, but near the end she was wanting a little more freedom...and even let go of me for a little while to kick her legs and so on. Good times. I'm glad she's not afraid of the ocean...but that also means we'll have to keep an eye on her. At one point I thought how cool it was to be out there with my daughter. I have a lot of fond memories of me and my mother digging around for sand dollars, snorkeling with a diving mask while looking for fish, and riding the waves in as I swam. Now I've started making new memories...and more importantly watching my daughter make her own. Well, she probably won't remember much of this, but she certainly will in the future.

It was mercilessly hot today. I spotted a bank clock that said it was 108. I don't think it was THAT hot, but it touched 100 easily. That meant that we had a short morning beach session and went back after the sun started going down.

Something that has always stuck with me about the ocean is it's timelessness. As we would look at vacation pictures, my mom used to always remark when she'd see pictures of the ocean that the waves are crashing there now, just like they did on our trip. They'll be crashing long after we leave here too, just like they've been when the first Spanish explorers visited this island and named it, just like they've been crashing for the past 1,000, 10,000, and 100,000 years. It helps you put things into perspective a bit, I think. The ocean is so vast, so powerful, and the footprints Ellie, Theresa, and I left there today are probably gone by now...or certainly will be in the next few days. Replaced with other footprints, washed away by the tide. What does that mean? I don't know...maybe that we just need to enjoy what little time we have. The tide always comes in and takes a part of us with it...concentrate on "now" and less on what's "next."

Tomorrow: early morning at the beach, off to a zoo (a very meager zoo from what I understand), naptime for Ellie (and probably us too), then maybe a couple of hours at a water park. Life is good.

Live, on location...

Posting this from beautiful Perdido Key, FL tonight! Ellie's first real road trip went great. We left at 3:00 AM this morning (after a miserable night's sleep...maybe 3 hours for me). Ellie was wired and I was beginning to think our plan for leaving early so she would sleep most of the way was pretty dumb. But as we crossed the state line into Alabama I looked back to show her the rocket (if you've seen it, you'll remember it) and her eyes were REALLY heavy. By the time we got to the rocket, she was out. She slept until we woke her up several hours later in Montgomery. The rest of the way she was a little angel. It's amazing how a Mickey Mouse DVD will go a long way to satisfying a child. How did my parents and grandparents' generation deal with road trips without DVDs?

In any event, it was a very easy trip down. About 8 hours drive time, but it was a breeze. We arrived around 12:30 PM and were able to check right in. Just in time for Ellie's nap. We had to temper our excitement to see the beach for a little while until she slept.

We took her down to the beach this afternoon and it was really something else. She is very picky about being dirty...hates crumbs on her hands, etc. So we figured sand on her feet would drive her into a fit. She loved it! The whole time we walked down there she was saying "beach!" and "ocean!" and "water!" over and over again. Once she put her feet into the water and another wave came in, she got a little freaked out but she turned it into a game to chase the waves out and run away before another one got to her. Call it fatherly pride, but it was really cute. She cried when we took her away. But there'll be plenty more of the ocean tomorrow...although tomorrow will be a record high here (101 with a heat index of 110). So we'll have to limit ourselves.

I'll post pictures when I get back. I'm using someone else's laptop and I'm sure he won't want a bunch of Ellie's pictures loaded on here.

Anyways, it is really something else to see my child soak all of this in. It's like seeing it for the first time myself...and that's not just hyperbole.

Road Trip

It’s probably not much of a surprise, based on the title of this blog, that I love taking road trips. The destination is fun, of course, but to me the most fun part of the trip is backing out of the driveway, putting the van in drive, and setting off. The anticipation, the planning, popping in a “Road Trip Mix” CD…I don’t know why but that’s usually one of the silent highlights of the trip for me.

I’m reminded of that scene in Swingers when Trent and Mike take off to Vegas:

Mike: “Think we’re going to be there by midnight?”

Trent: “We’re going to be up five hundy by midnight! Vegas baby, Vegas!”

Mike: “Vegas!”

Both: [yelling] “VEGAS!”

We’re not going to Vegas, but we’re taking a trip down to Perdido Key, Florida/Gulf Shores next week. This will be Ellie’s first trip to the beach and only her second trip (her first trip was to Cincinnati last summer). Planning a trip with a little one is a new experience, obviously. Plus it’s an 8 hour drive without stops, so keeping her entertained and avoiding meltdowns is a very real concern. The plan is to leave around 3:00 am so that she’ll be asleep for at least a few hours of the trip. Honestly, I have no expectations on how this will go; but I am sure that we will have a great and relaxing time once we get down there.

I can’t wait to see the look on her face when she sees the ocean for the first time…or when she digs her feet into the sand. (I imagine she’ll freak out a bit: she hates being dirty) It’s going to be an experience that we won’t forget, even though she may not remember it when she grows up.

So early next Monday morning…say around 3:00 AM, if you hear someone quietly jamming to “Thunder Road” down I-65, trying hard to keep a 2 year old asleep, you’ll know it’s me.

2 Years...

My girl will be 2 years old on Sunday. All the cliches are true: time flies, she's grown up fast, it's hard to believe...etc. Really, they are true and I think you have to be a parent to truly understand why they're true. In some ways, it is sad. We're definitely starting to see her develop her independence and while that is good and a blessing in and of itself, it also is the first of many steps she is going to take towards away from us. As a parent, you go from being the center of her universe to a blip on the periphery. But that's natural and good. It means she's developed and hopefully we've done everything to the best of our ablilty and produced a smart young lady capable of making positive choices. Still, I find myself wishing that I could stop time and just live with my 2 year old for a few years like this...just like I wish I could stop time and live with my 18 month old...and my 1 year old...and my 9 month old...etc.

My wife has a line she says pretty often: this is the best stage of Ellie's life right now. She's said it when she was 3 months and every stage since then...and it's been true. While the twos have been somewhat of a challenge, it really has been great. She speaks well, she runs around like a colt, and she actually acts like a little adult most times. It's so much fun.

But as I get older and she gets older, I hope I remember what it was like to hold her for the first time in that operating room. I hope I remember seeing that little face and hairy head for the first time as the doctor hoisted her into the air. I hope I remember her first "bath" and her laying on the warming table with her tongue stuck out when she was only 10 minutes old. I hope I remember handing her off to her mom for the first time. I hope I remember it all and I hope she'll understand why I'm just a little bit sad on her birthday.

Why Jim Cramer Is An Idiot

We’re going into investment world for a minute, but hang with me, okay? First, if you don’t know who Jim Cramer is, he’s the bombastic shouting stock analyst on CNBC’s Mad Money who got absolutely ripped by Jon Stewart on the Daily Show a few months back.

A lot of otherwise decent people really like Cramer: he’s entertaining, he’s smart, and he’s bold. All characteristics that make for good TV. However, I’ve not met anyone in the investment industry who takes him seriously. Not that he lacks credentials…he’s managed a very successful hedge fund in the past and he’s made some people a lot of money. The problem is that today he’s an entertainer, not the investment guru that CNBC makes him out to be.

Case and point: on July 30, 2008 I printed off one of his bold predictions from the CNBC website because I felt like it was preposterous. We were in the beginning stages of the economic meltdown (although no one expected it to be nearly as disasterous as it became). All of us hoped the market would improve in the summer and it just wasn’t really happening. Yet along comes Cramer. “I am indeed sticking my neck out right here…declaring emphatically that I believe the market will not revisit the panicked lows it hit on July 15 [2008]….” To further clarify he declared, “Stop waiting and buy the next dip because I think it might be the last big one.” Finally, he concluded, “I think it’s a just a smart call that all the evidence points toward. Bye bye bear market. Say hello to the bull and don’t let the door hit you on the way out.” The Dow Jones was at 11,583.69 on that day. The S&P 500 closed at 1,284.26 that day. In the months that followed, the market went into a tailspin of epic proportions. Nearly 8 months after this bold prediction, the S&P closed at its low: 666.79, a loss of 48%.

So what, he swung and missed? Many brilliant investment managers did. That’s not the problem. The problem can be found in what he’s saying today. Tom Brennan (web editor of CNBC) wrote yesterday that “[Cramer] also urged investors to at least partially cash out when the Dow was near 11,000, and he did so again at 10,000. Those that listened spared themselves losses up to 40%.” Listen, for all I know he did say sell at 11,000 and 10,000. But for the people who listened to him on July 30, 2008, shortly before the market drove off a cliff, Jim Cramer said to buy at the “next dip” because we were headed straight up. Those that heeded that advice have lost one-third of their net worth in less than a year.

What does all that mean? First: if you make enough predictions, one is bound to come true. Just hope no one is around to call you out on all your swings and misses. Second: TV is the devil. Doctors, lawyers, and investment advisors who you see on national TV regularly are most likely very brilliant individuals; however don’t think for a moment that they are anything less than entertainers first. A viewer shouldn’t diagnose themselves with a disease after watching Dr. Gupta on CNN. They’d hopefully go see their own physician. Likewise, a viewer shouldn’t try to invest solely by listening to Cramer, they should call their own advisor.

Use a dose of common sense…and check out Jon Stewart thrashing Cramer on the Daily Show. It’s most entertaining…and awkward.

Pilot Episode

I'm pretty late to the whole blog/twitter/social networking scene. I've had a Myspace account before (seems juvenile now) and I enjoy Facebook (great timewaster). But I've never been compelled to blog. Mostly because I'm really boring. No one really cares what I think. I don't have a cause to push or any particularly refreshing insight into...well...anything. So why blog? I dunno. An old friend that I just got back into contact does it and it seems like a great way to vent and relieve personal anxiety/stress. Her blog is not only helpful, but seems to be therapeutic. So, I'm approaching this as self-therapy: not to gain readers or to impress anyone. We'll see how it goes. It may not last long.

A good place to start I guess is the title. It is a line from the opening chapter of John Steinbeck's Travels With Charley: In Search of America. Here's the quote in a little more context:

Once a journey is designed, equipped, and put in process; a new factor enters and takes over. A trip, a safari, an exploration, is an entity, different from all other journeys. It has personality, temperament, individuality, uniqueness. A journey is a person in itself; no two are alike. And all plans, safeguards, policing, and coercion are fruitless. We find after years of struggle that we do not take a trip; a trip takes us. Tour masters, schedules, reservations, brass-bound and inevitable, dash themselves to wreckage on the personality of the trip. Only when this is recognized can the blown-in-the-glass bum relax and go along with it. Only then do the frustrations fall away. In this a journey is like a marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. (Steinbeck, Travels With Charley, p. 3-4)

While Steinbeck is specifically referring to his cross-country trek, I think it's pretty obvious that he's discussing a certain outlook on life. No matter how much you plan, there is always something that is just around the corner that has the potential to knock you off track. Luckily, I think I'm like a "blown-in-the-glass bum": I can go along with change fairly well. I don't like it most times, but I can fairly easily accept that God/Providence/fate/karma is greater than myself and that there are bigger forces at work in my life. Some would call that a fool's logic, and that's fine. But I'd argue that if we cannot hope or trust in something bigger than ourselves, what are we living for?

Anyways, I've started re-reading Steinbeck's Travels this week since I'm going on a road trip to the beach at the end of the month. Not only is the book a classic "road trip" kinda book, it's also a fantastic view of what America was, is, and can be. If Walden and Huck Finn mated and had a child born in 1962, it would be Travels With Charley. It's one of those books that I can re-read it several times and get something different out of it each time.

So wherever you are, whatever journey you're on or about to take, remember that our plans are made to change. Go with it.